Friday, December 21, 2018

Life takes a hard left

I thought I had it all.  A wonderful husband, terrific kids, a dream mini farm in the country.  Oh how naive I was.

5 years ago I got into some trouble with the law.  I'm not going into details at this point.  It's enough for me to recognize I was incredibly stupid. As one of my best friends and biggest supporters said - despite all that you are a fantastic person. Learn from it and grow.  It's behind you for a reason.

5 years ago last week my husband was in a farming accident.  He slipped on a patch of ice in front of a running corn picker and his hand/arm went into the head of our single row picker.  After a life flight right to a major trauma center and a month in the hospital - he lost his hand.

And we all lost something that following year.

I make no excuses for what I did. I betrayed people who trusted me implicitly.  But more importantly I betrayed the people closest to me.  We thought we could work through everything and keep our family together. But fate has different plans sometimes.

Yesterday I did one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I'm sure over the next few months I will do harder.  But I have realized something.

Major accidents/trouble can either define you or break you.  And I refuse to be broken.  Am I perfect?  Hell no absolutely not.  Sadly, my husband does not feel the same way.  I know it's depression and stress but I refuse to be bullied, belittled and degraded any more.  The defining moment was when my son said to me "I'd rather live on my own than in this house with you and dad always fighting."  And my daughter has asked why we can't just get along again like we used to.

And believe me - I would love to have my family back.  But I believe there is more and better out there for both of us.  I'm tired of walking on eggshells waiting for the blow ups.  I've tried to hold everything together for 5 long years.

And i realized something about 8 weeks ago. I was at the lowest of lows.  And I really didn't want to continue on with my life.  But my kids have grounded me and pulled me back from the edge time and time again.  Thankfully I have have the belief (and a doctor who agrees) that essential oils can do some good - but that modern medicine can step in and play an important role.

I'm not sure where this new life will lead us, but I intend to live it joyfully, honestly, and to the fullest of my ability.  We truly are given one life to live and I am going to make it a good one.

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Blessing my friends

In between work and basketball games and driving to and from basketball practice and decorating my house for Christmas, I am hosting a Mini Kit Young Living class on Facebook.  Notice I didn't say Christmas shopping.  I have a new rule this year - I'm buying as little as possible in stores this year.  Amazon loves me.  I think I have 3 gifts to get that I will have to physically walk into a store.  And I'm trying to figure out how to buy those 3 gifts online too.

I have a great fear of getting up in front of people and talking.  I used to not be this way.  But life and circumstances have a way of changing you sometimes

The mini-kit classes have been a huge success.  I send you samples of the oils broken up into 3 packages, along with the supplies to actually use the oils in a beneficial way (think roller bottles, bath salts, thieves cleaner, a mini DIFFUSER, etc.)

It's been fun talking to everyone and sending out these little care packages.  These oils have helped me so so much.  And I love blessing my friends with a little gift every couple of weeks.

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Christmas Spirit

I love Christmas.  I love everything about it.  Except the shopping.  But decorating for Christmas?  I'm all over that.  The last couple of years I haven't wanted to decorate but I have done it.  This year I felt like I was getting my mojo back.

I've really cut down on the decorations I put out.  And this year I packed most all of my everyday decorations away.  And I'm all lot more relaxed - my house isn't as cluttered.   


Of course - I had to finish painting my living room.  Granted it was only 1 wall but I had painted the other 3 walls last February.  So it really didn't take long at all. 


I think I need a few more Santa's.    


In January (well, December 30th to be exact). I'll put away all my Christmas decorations and get out all my snowmen.  But I couldn't resist putting out this runner.  Mom and I made these years ago. 


I think I have 7 or 8 nativities.  I really need a few more.  


The kids helped me decorate both trees.  Every year we talk about cutting back on the ornaments.  And somehow they make it all on the trees.


One of my first Nativities.  Jessie put out most of them for me this year.  

The dogs aren't sure abut all the decorations - the trees have taken a few serious hits recently.

This wall hanging I had hung in my kitchen every year.  I'm thinking I like it here next to my mantle. At least it covers up this big area pretty well.

Tyler has a very extensive cowboy santa collection.  My parents have gotten him quite a few over the years.  

I need to find something for this tree to use as garland.  

Jessie drew the sign for me.  This chalkboard has come in handy ever since we brought it for her grad party.  I love my mantle this year.  I'm so thankful she is good at this and likes to do things like this.

I hope everyone has a fantastic evening!!

Saturday, December 8, 2018

Growing Up

Can someone please tell me when my baby grew up?  Or maybe more accurately when he will stop growing?

Basketball has started.  And he is a starting player on the JV team.  Right now our JV team is 3-0.

I hope he is having the time of his life.  I could care less about the points he does or doesn't make.  What I want is for him to continue to be a good, decent human being.

Despite all the turmoil we are going through at home (more on that later - but right now it's a raw wound that we are trying to process) he still pushes through and plays hard.

It's funny - but I keep seeing him out on the court as the little boy that couldn't hit the broad side of the barn and was all gangly arms and legs.

And he would kill me for that.  But I guess at 15 1/2 and 6'4" its time he grew up.  

I just want to see both kids healthy happy and confident again.  We are getting there.

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Husky Football

My son loves football.  And basketball.  And being a freshman he was prepared to have to work hard this year.  Our little school didn't have enough players for a freshman team.  So we were expecting him to have to play JV.

But he worked his tail off this summer and got to start Varsity on defense.    It was so much fun to watch him play all season on Friday nights.

Our football team may not have done as well as we would have liked, but this group of boys is a lot of fun.  It's great seeing them all support one another.

He is #33.  We have a parent who loves to take pics of the boys.  I have a good camera but it's hard to get pics from the stands.

While the team didn't have a very good season (3-7), the lessons these boys learned and the friendships they formed are more important than any win.

The last 3 or 4 games have been cold and rainy.  And now it's over for the year.

And now he has 3 or 4 days off and basketball starts.  I hope our school has a good season.  But either way, I know where I will be for the next few months:)

Monday, October 8, 2018

Chemical free cleaning

When I first got started with Essential Oils 10 or so years ago, I used the cheaper ones from my local health food store. And I saw on the label (of course afterwards) not for human consumption. Great. But I made my laundry soap, made my degreaser and my all purpose cleaner.  And I loved them. I truly did. And until recently I used the cleaner and the degreaser faithfully. 

Then I came across Young Living. And actually a dear blogging friend from the early days started posting about them on Instagram. It took me a few months and I jumped on the bandwagon. But of course I’d go back and forth with them. 

Then my daughter stole my diffuser and started using them. And I started using them pretty hard core about 8 months ago. In the midst of this I’m trying to find a way to manage my Lupus. 103 degree fevers for days are no fun. And my doctor is really big into alternative medicines. 

So I brought a 14 oz bottle of Thieves cleaner. And I’m blown away. I brought that bottle the middle of July. And I’m still using it. Not only does it clean everything:

It’s so stinking affordable!! I won’t get the full 16 spray bottles because I add it to my Thieves laundry soap (more on that later) but I’m not even half way through the bottle yet. 

It smells amazing. It does a terrific job. And I just have 1 spray bottle for my entire house. I haven’t brought a chemical laden cleaner in almost 3 months. I do make sure I have baking soda (buy the big box at dollar general - you won’t regret it for $2 a box), white vinegar, borax and washing soda on hand. And that is it. 

I must say, my house smells fantastic.  And while my kids are older and know better, when I have little kids over I don't have to worry about them getting into something they shouldn't.  

If you are interested in this cleaner - send me an email - bairk2072 at gmail dot com.

Friday, October 5, 2018

The college that wasn’t meant to be

Remember me saying what a wonderful college Jessie had found and she was so excited to be starting at a college she knew she was going to absolutely love? 

Cue manical hysterical laughter here......

We went to Bradford Schools I don't know how many times to see the college, fill out paperwork, deal with orientation, etc.  Each time she loved it.  

We moved her in the Sunday before Labor Day.  I should have known something was wrong that afternoon.  Tyler and I left her there at 2 p.m. By 8 p.m. (!?!?!?!) I had received no less than 500 text messages, 4 or 5 dozen phone calls, a half a dozen face time videos.  I figured it would just take her a little bit to get used to the school.

Nope.  She called me Monday night. Her roommates were shopping at night and she didn't want to be in the dorm room by herself.  So could I please drive to Columbus and hang out with her.  Because at 18 she still doesn't like to stay home alone at night.

Wednesday night she called me and said she was done with school.  They weren't doing large animals for vet tech just cats, dogs,and mice.  And she wanted to come home.  I told her when she got home on Friday we would talk about it.

Due to our county fair starting on Friday, my parents hauled her butt home Friday afternoon.  And she met them at the car with a ton of her stuff.  She was done.  She didn't like the classes, didn't like the apartment, didn't like any of it.  And not getting to work on large animals was the icing on the cake.

So in amongs dealing with the shit show that was our county fair thanks to the weather, on Sunday morning my dad, her and her boyfriend and I drove back to Columbus to pack all her stuff up and bring her home.  Let's just say I do feel bad for her roommates because what started out as everyone contributing ended up me buying most of the stuff.  The Tv.  The WiFi router,  the printer, the bathroom supplies, the kitchen supplies.  

As we were carting everything to my car I made her text her roommates.  I didn't want them coming back to an empty room.  We got it all in my car and my parents car for the drive home.  And it only took us an hour to pack her back up.

It was a very nice school.  I think it is a terrific program.  I just think it was too much for Jessie to take on all at once.  She is my homebody after all.

And she starts a new school in October.  And it's only 35 min. Away so she will be commuting and working.  Lol. I'm not providing a free ride until she is 50.

I must say though I am glad she was home for a few weeks.  I did have some help getting Tyler to and from all his activities and help around the house.

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

County Fair

I had to wait a few weeks to recover from our county fair before I felt like talking about it.  This was the roughest year we have ever had animal wise people wise and just everything in general. My kids and I love working with the animals for our fair but it just seems like this year was rough! 

We got the market animals in there. Amidst torrential downpours. After lots of bickering and arguing I thought this was going to go well. Nope. It wasn’t happening. The weather sucked, my kids steers both weighed the EXACT SAME weight. And they were grumpy.  

But they pulled it off and we did decent. Tyler got a 4th and a 2nd and was 10th overall. 

Jessie got a 2nd and a 3rd and was 6th overall steer. 

But then we found out right after the final drive for the market steer class they were cancelling showmanship and evacuating most of the animals due to rain. The steers were going to the auction barn to be held until sale day. The pigs were being trucked 2 counties away so the kids could still show Monday and Tuesday. And the lambs were staying right at the fairgrounds. Oh and the camper had to be moved that evening along with all the show equipment. 

But we got it all done. It was absolutely heartbreaking to say goodbye to these guys so early. They truly were pets this year. 

Then we had to start driving all over. Go to our home county to feed and take care of lambs. Go 45 min away to deal with pigs. Back and forth multiple times a day. 

I am so thankful Richland County opened their fairgrounds for the swine exhibitors. And the kids did well. 

Jessie went 2nd in showmanship and 3rd in her market class 

Tyler went 2nd in both showmanship and his market class.

And let’s not forget the sheep. Jessie went 6th in showmanship and 8th in market. 

Tyler got 7th in his market class. He likes the sheep but he has a hard time showing due to his height. 

It was a long, exhausting week. We also moved Jessie home from college during the fair.  She’s staring next week at another school so hopefully that school is a better fit. 

And now it’s onto next year. But we are taking a little break for a couple weeks. 


Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Going Green

So I was diagnosed with Lupus 2+ years ago.  But in reality, I''m pretty sure i have had it for quite some time.

See - I had an endometrial ablation done 7 or 8 years ago.  And when I went to the hospital for the surgery - the doctor didn't really want to do the surgery because I was running a fever (102 to be exact).  But I felt fine so he did the surgery and I didn't think anything of it.

Then 2 years ago I went for routine blood work that I have done every so often because I get my thyroid checked due to a tumor that was removed over 20 years ago.  And the marker came up for Lupus.

And let me tell you - lupus is no fun whatsoever.  I've been lucky so far.  My main complaints are I'm tired, my joints and my bones ache, I have headaches most of the time, my skin hurts and itches and feels like a pins and needles sensation and I run fevers.  Some days the fevers are mild. Other days I'm functioning with a 103 degree fever.

And I can't do the meds.  Mainly because they are so darned expensive.  And with my current situation I don't have $400 to be throwing away on meds.  I did get into a clinical trial for a year which helped.  But that trial is long since over.

I went to see my rheumatologist last week because I had a tick bite and had to be treated for Lyme disease.  And he sat me down and said if I can't or won't take traditional medicine we need to explore other options.  Which involve diet changes, lifestyle changes, watching my chemical exposure and using essential oils for support and medicine.  It was kind of cool listening to him tell me I need to quit do all these things that mainstream media would have you believe are ok but in reality could very well be hurting me and making my lupus worse.

The diet changes will be easy.  No gluten, no processed food, no sugars and no caffeine. My kids won't like it but they do want me around for a while:)

The lifestyle change will be hard for a few more months but doable.  More rest, more exercise and less stress. But I'll try it.

The chemical exposure?  I work in a factory.  Granted, I'm in management and not out on the floor but I still come into contact with the compounds and various chemicals.  So I have to manage this part at home.  No harsh cleaners, detergents, etc.  So I'm making my own cleaners, laundry detergent, etc.  Which truth be told I've been doing that off and on for years.

The essential oils?  I jumped on that bandwagon years ago.  And I must say I use my oils a lot for the minor things - headaches, muscle pain, hives, and the like.  But to hear my doctor say they could alleviate a lot of my symptoms? Pretty cool.

So over the past few days I've made some cleaners, made some laundry supplies.  I'll share more with you over the next few weeks.  And if you want to join my tribe - leave me a comment and I'll be in touch.  I must admit that after just a few days, I'm seeing some improvements in the way I feel.

Sunday, July 22, 2018

The epic party

It's over.  I honestly didn't think I would pull it off and get everything ready.  But thanks to family and terrific friends we did it.

It was hotter than hell.  And we were outside Friday night putting up tents and tables and chairs.  And of course, I got no pictures.

Saturday morning I was up bright and early making lemonade, making iced tea and cooking all the food except for the pulled pork.

In between cooking all the food I was running outside to decorate, pick up and arrange everything.

I gave Jessie just a few things to do.  Her pictures and awards she wanted displayed and run to the store for me.  LOL.  She did a fantastic job putting everything out.

We found a 7 foot tall hollow log for the fire.  I wish I had gotten better pictures before it got dark but it was so cool for the bonfire.

I'm just bummed that I hardly got any pictures during the party.  But it seemed like there was always something that needed doing.

My 90 year old grandmother (Jessie and Tyler's great grandmother) gets around very well.  I hope I'm half as active as she is at 90 years old.

I'm really going to miss Jessie and her friends when they all go off to college.  It just won't be the same without them all here most nights.

As much fun as the party was - I'm so glad it's over!  And I didn't have to cook much the week after the party - we survived on leftovers.

Now I'm off to make laundry detergent and all sorts of natural cleaners.  My doctor gave me a stern talking to this last week.  I'll let you know how this goes.